As a young girl pre-globalization, Bollywood, books and observations were my windows to the world. Feeling like an Alice in Wonderland, I attempted to process all that I witnessed.

A boy could sleep around, drink his sorrows away, fail in exams, as long as he: got a job that paid bills, married and procreated, took charge of the most critical family asset - the ‘khandaan ki izzat'.

A girl was sweet/cute, ‘naazuk’ and needed protection. Called Paraaya Dhan, simply translated as another’s possession of wealth, even if she was doing her PhD, her chief occupation was to wait for her Sapnon-ka-Raj Kumar. From Cinderella to Simran, we saw how she was rewarded if she waited out her life struggles while Prince Charming finally overcame obstacles to win her over.

In the meantime, she could focus on being a good girl and compliant to a fault. I found it bizarre that being the weakest link in the family, she was still responsible for its most critical asset – the ‘Khandaan ki izzat'.

God forbid, if Babuji renegaded his duty by allowing her to speak her mind, wear what she wants, or say what she wants! In short, if she wasn’t made-to-order, Shakespeare had shown our heroes how to Tame the Shrew till she complied.

Usually married off so she could dedicate her life to making perfectly round rotis, she gave maa ki mamta to her laadla, and garam doodh to her pati Parmeshwar. With this role modelling, if we were lucky enough to get an Indira Gandhi or a Kiran Bedi, we put them on pedestals so high, they became impossible to emulate.